Go where you are CELEBRATED, CHALLENGED or CARED FOR just as you are
It's not a coincidence I am writing and publishing this post in June. This month is an intersectional celebration for me and I'm here for it all! As a queer black woman with a deep connection to music, June is Pride month, Juneteenth and Black Music Month.
With that I'm reminded of those who don't accept me, those who liked me until I wasn't palatable any longer, and those who never really cared for me. Where I used to focus on the negative, I now focus on the positive. I am so grateful for the amazing people in my life. It took some time and growth for me to understand where I thrived and where I was drained, so I created this post in hopes it may help someone.
Go Where You Are Celebrated
If you can't celebrate or talk about cool things happening in your life around the people around you, you need to be around different people. Yes, there's a difference between bragging and talking about exciting things happening in your life. Once involves always making it about you and having to be the best, while the other involves celebrating small or large wins. When you're unable to celebrate it stifles your ability to elevate.
Conversely, if you can't celebrate the people around you, you too need to be around other people.
Go where you are challenged. If you are always the smartest person in the room, or if everyone thinks like you, you're on a one-way train to complacency. The idea that you could motivate others in some cases works, but it does so at the expense of stifling your own growth.
Further, if no new perspectives are exposed to you, your way of thinking goes unchecked and that's when opinions become fact in your mind. This too stifles growth and can shrink opportunities.
"Being challenged makes you defend your position while learning about a neaux one" – Seoul
Caring is Caring
You deserve to be cared for just as you are. Surround yourself with people who genuinely like you and care for your well being. Avoid people that care for you 'even though' or 'despite' components that make you, YOU.
Also, avoid people who like being around you in secret; that's their own shit to work through and you ain't got time for alldat.
As with celebrating, if you don't genuinely like someone or don't want people to know you have a friendship with someone, leave them alone. Be around people you like and if that's hard examine why you may not like or love yourself.
June is Litty in the City
Whatever you do, take this month just enjoying and embracing all of the celebrations. The thing all three of the reasons for the season (Pride, Juneteenth, Black Music Month) have in common is FREEDOM. Freedom to be your authentic self and engage in and create safe spaces. Freedom and liberation through song and movement. You are lucky my birthday isn't in June because I would go ridiculously hard all of the time, ya welcome.